is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
