just come out here and I will go home with you...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
