this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
