Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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