i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
