i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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