You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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