Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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