and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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