when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
