I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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