I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
