Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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