It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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