I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
