Where did you get a picture of my penis
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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