i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
