forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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