i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
