Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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