His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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