u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
