Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
