my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
