But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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