I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
