is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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