so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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