yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
this is an emotional support booty call
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
