Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
