yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
