Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My life is pants optional.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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