no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
