omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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