Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
