it wasn't lemon gatorade
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
