is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
