I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
