Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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