you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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