last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
false alarm, still single
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