Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
