Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
