I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
