ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
