You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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