His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Too much gin, very little bucket
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
