I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
