I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
