Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
