This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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