2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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