She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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