Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
well you can't waste a boner
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
